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Stars and Snowflakes

Month

May 2016

Cracks

Nearly hollow now.
Emptied out.
The substance of my life
Trickles
Through the cracks
Of a cold glass heart
With nothing to replace it.

The cracks expand
As glass breaks apart.
More gaps
To fall through.
Every thought.
Memories
I didn’t want to
Lose.

Remembering

I’m remembering winter,
The snow, so sweet and cold,
Twirling down
Coating the ground
In white gold.
How it shimmered in the sun.
Now, like all else, vanished,
Faded, gone.
Like all the toys I’ve lost,
Broken things
With missing pieces.
I miss the snow.
I miss friends from
So long ago.
I miss being innocent
Pure white
Shining in the light.

What Fills Us

Isolation carves a rift
That seeks correction
In the form of the gift
Of connection,
A gift that we don’t often see
Until it’s what we’ve lost,
Carelessness and neglect the fee
And solitude the cost.
The seeds we once planted
With kindness and care
Were taken for granted
More often than air.

Yet after everything transpires,
We can’t accept being alone
We give in to our desires
To be more than on our own.
No part of our humanity
Is more true to our state
Than our need for community,
These bonds that we create.
Loneliness creates a void
That we attempt to fill
With substances that have destroyed
Those stronger than us, still
Exchanging our time with another’s
Shows us that the pull
To build community with others
Is what will make us full.

Stagnancy

It takes
A toxic cocktail
Of false fears
And false friends,
False starts
And dead ends
That lead to what
You never wanted,
Never thought you’d have,
Where you don’t want to be.
But you stay
Stuck
In stagnancy.

Neglect

Needed love
Wasn’t kissed
Pulled away
Wasn’t missed
Cried for years
Wasn’t heard
Mimicked death
Wasn’t stirred
Hid a while
Wasn’t sought
Needed guidance
Wasn’t taught
Ran away
Wasn’t chased
Cut the cord
Was erased

Presence and Peace

Presence of mind
Isn’t peace.
They’re sisters,
Not the same.
Each has a role to play
And a stake to claim
In a war-torn brain.

Fighting to keep it together
Once presence takes its piece.
Left painfully aware
Of the connection that they share.
Presence makes the cavity increase
And brings to light
The void of missing peace.

Power Struggles

My mind has a mind of its own.
It whispers
What shouldn’t be said,
Tells me
What shouldn’t be known.
I fight
The harshest thoughts,
Force them
To leave me alone.
I struggle
To regain my land
From invaders
In this war zone.

Direction

Restless and desperate
And wanting to go—but where?
I would follow my heart,
But I’m not sure it’s there.
Before I move, I need certainty.
It’s destined to be the death of me.

Wondering would leave me
Wandering down roads of glass,
Watching for a sign
From every sign that I pass.
“What ifs” aren’t sufficient
Fuel for this car.
If I don’t make a choice,
I won’t make it far.

Braver

I’m stronger for what I don’t have,
Smarter for what I don’t know,
Braver for the many places
That I desire to go,
For the things I dare to dream,
Especially since they seem
Impossible.  “I’m possible,”
They whisper to me
In the mournful quiet
Of missed opportunity.
Hope and faith
Give my eyes their shine
And sketch my new life’s design.

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